tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-306647322011-04-21T22:59:25.239-05:00eavesdropping on conversations in the streets and bars of torontoA.noreply@blogger.comBlogger511100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30664732.post-7394872365483766032007-07-16T11:21:00.000-05:002007-07-16T11:37:15.858-05:00<span style="font-size:130%;">Girl: Some get easy, some get hard.<br /><br />-Restaurant</span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/30664732-739487236548376603?l=quotedintoronto.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>A.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30664732.post-45512128847559303632007-07-16T11:16:00.000-05:002007-07-16T11:37:36.456-05:00<span style="font-size:130%;">Token city boy in group of former small towners: I feel left out. This city boy wants a farm lover.<br /><br />-Party</span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/30664732-4551212884755930363?l=quotedintoronto.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>A.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30664732.post-90902017365106778442007-07-16T11:08:00.001-05:002007-07-16T11:37:47.925-05:00<span style="font-size:130%;">White girl lamenting about her salsa dancing partner: He was so white boy, it was unbelievable. His name as Manolo. It sounds like he would be salsa dancing all the time.<br /><br />-Party</span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/30664732-9090201736510677844?l=quotedintoronto.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>A.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30664732.post-78039010926872088792007-07-16T11:00:00.000-05:002007-07-16T11:37:59.938-05:00<span style="font-size:130%;">Girl: All this Mennonite conversation made me soil my jeans.<br /><br />-Party</span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/30664732-7803901092687208879?l=quotedintoronto.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>A.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30664732.post-46714979674617799552007-07-16T10:51:00.000-05:002007-07-16T11:38:15.037-05:00<span style="font-size:130%;">Guy watching TV: He's got good penetration but no control.<br />Girl: Hmmm, I've never called it an engine room.<br /><br />-Party</span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/30664732-4671497967461779955?l=quotedintoronto.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>A.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30664732.post-9565347795893386492007-04-08T14:31:00.000-05:002007-04-08T14:48:21.830-05:00<span style="font-size:130%;">Teen posing as dude: Yo, that's the worst job ever (Pointing to TTC station watcher). Man, I'd be wearing seven sweatshirts, three pairs of gloves and a fucking scarf.<br />Other teen: Yeah. (laughs)<br />Teen dude: How do you get a cake job like that? That job's cake.<br /><br />-Spadina line streetcar</span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/30664732-956534779589338649?l=quotedintoronto.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>A.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30664732.post-48301225356312787152007-04-08T14:25:00.000-05:002007-04-08T14:47:44.424-05:00<span style="font-size:130%;">Smarty-pants Twin #1: Look, it's a pigeon. We just saw our first pigeon at the age of four and a half years old.<br />Complacent Twin #2: Yeah.<br /><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:130%;" >Minutes later, Dad returns.</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /><br />Smarty-pants Twin #1: Dad! I waved at a pigeon!<br /><br />-Starbucks, Bloor Street</span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/30664732-4830122535631278715?l=quotedintoronto.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>A.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30664732.post-71670911947435276802007-04-08T14:16:00.000-05:002007-04-08T14:47:23.403-05:00<span style="font-size:130%;">Glasses guy: Don't you know Jesus died today?<br />GG's friend: (scoff)<br />Glasses guy: But don't worry. He comes back again.<br /><br />-Book City, Bloor Street</span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/30664732-7167091194743527680?l=quotedintoronto.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>A.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30664732.post-65870764770193181312007-04-01T17:44:00.000-05:002007-04-08T14:57:37.193-05:00<span style="font-size:130%;">Inquisitive young boy holding box of pads: Mommy! What's this?<br />Mom: (silent)<br />Child holding the pads up high: Mommy!! What is THIS?<br />Mom, speaking quietly: Those are maxi pads.<br />Child: What are maxi pads?<br />Mom: (silent)<br />Child, screaming: MOMMY! What are MAXI PADS?<br />Mom grabs pads from child: Never mind. They're for mommy.<br /><br />-Shoppers Drug Mart<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /></span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/30664732-6587076477019318131?l=quotedintoronto.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>A.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30664732.post-54471401205302379522007-04-01T17:43:00.000-05:002007-04-08T14:46:30.360-05:00<span style="font-size:130%;">Teenybopper girl: My friend just keeps getting poked, poked, POKED!!<br /><br />-Shoppers Drug Mart, Bloor &amp; Spadina</span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/30664732-5447140120530237952?l=quotedintoronto.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>A.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30664732.post-1159631028369041762006-09-30T10:40:00.000-05:002006-09-30T10:44:32.716-05:00<span style="font-size:130%;">Radio host on air: LeDrew has just filed his papers to become the next mayor of Canada. ... I mean, Toronto.<br /><br />-Heard on radio</span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/30664732-115963102836904176?l=quotedintoronto.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>A.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30664732.post-1159630811507089092006-09-30T10:14:00.000-05:002006-09-30T10:44:12.660-05:00<span style="font-size:130%;">Lady standing in kitchen beside cabinets, fridge, stove, sink: So ... is this the kitchen?<br />Smart-ass painter: No, it's the garage, lady, can't you see all the cars?<br /><br />-New house</span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/30664732-115963081150708909?l=quotedintoronto.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>A.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30664732.post-1159580545409514972006-09-29T20:39:00.000-05:002006-09-29T20:42:25.410-05:00<span style="font-size:130%;">Pacing girl looking for candy and yelling to friend: As soon as I eat something, I'm going to have to poo.<br /><br />-7-11, College &amp; Spadina</span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/30664732-115958054540951497?l=quotedintoronto.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>A.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30664732.post-1159580381385394752006-09-29T20:35:00.000-05:002006-09-29T20:39:41.413-05:00<span style="font-size:130%;">Woman: He gave it to me in cubic inches. Everyone else gives it in litres.<br />Google-o-phile man: Go to Google. You can convert it there.<br />Smartypants man: You can convert anything on Google. Jewish to Catholic. Catholic to Jewish.<br /><br />-Office</span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/30664732-115958038138539475?l=quotedintoronto.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>A.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30664732.post-1159232571091372442006-09-25T19:58:00.000-05:002006-09-25T20:03:14.190-05:00<span style="font-size:130%;">Man #1: How do you say Misses in German?<br />Woman: Frau?<br />Man #1: Jungfrau means virgin.<br />Man #2: Really? I thought it was a range of mountains?<br />Man #3: I wouldn't go using that until I got that cleared...<br /><br />-office</span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/30664732-115923257109137244?l=quotedintoronto.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>A.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30664732.post-1159031064478277792006-09-23T11:49:00.000-05:002006-09-23T12:04:24.486-05:00<span style="font-size:130%;">Brown girl #1: I'm really trying to be more brown. I ate spicy food yesterday. That's pretty brown.<br />Brown girl #2: Yeah, that's pretty brown.<br /><br />-University of Toronto, King's College Circle<br />Submitted by A.</span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/30664732-115903106447827779?l=quotedintoronto.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>A.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30664732.post-1158979067028661762006-09-22T21:30:00.000-05:002006-09-23T12:04:56.450-05:00<span style="font-size:130%;">Man who witnessed ass pants dance: He put on the ass pants and did a feather dance.<br />Ass pants man: I did not do a feather dance! And I did not "present" myself, as B. likes to say! "Present," that's what pandas do.<br />Puzzled woman: Pandas? What?<br />Ass pants man: Pandas present themselves to each other ... in mating rituals.<br />Puzzled man and woman: ...<br />Ass pants man: Present. That's the word they use! Present! Don't you watch Discovery Channel?<br /><br />-office</span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/30664732-115897906702866176?l=quotedintoronto.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>A.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30664732.post-1158978627202814402006-09-22T21:28:00.000-05:002006-09-23T12:05:54.416-05:00<span style="font-size:130%;">Whispering man: I was going to say she kissed him between the hangars...<br /><br />-office</span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/30664732-115897862720281440?l=quotedintoronto.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>A.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30664732.post-1158978474073395442006-09-22T21:22:00.000-05:002006-09-22T21:40:03.443-05:00Wise bearded man: When did your family come to Canada?<br />Woman: In the 1950s. They were part of the Zutaten people.<br />Wise bearded man: I once read a wonderful book called <span style="font-style: italic;">Zutaten Germans in Saskatchewan</span>.<br />Office: ... (long pause)<br /><br />-office<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/30664732-115897847407339544?l=quotedintoronto.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>A.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30664732.post-1158618158330553322006-09-18T17:12:00.000-05:002006-09-18T17:22:38.330-05:00Woman holding phone and yelling across room: Hey! It's J.C. .......... Not Jesus Christ!<br /><br />-office<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/30664732-115861815833055332?l=quotedintoronto.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>A.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30664732.post-1158617552176242852006-09-18T17:07:00.000-05:002006-09-18T17:12:32.193-05:00Reporter talking about a woman dying after marshmallows lodged in throat during Chubby Bunny contest: I think we need to do a special on it: Marshmallows: The Silent Killer.<br />Veteran reporter: You're already working on it, aren't you? You can interview Spongey Bob or something.<br /><br />-newsroom<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/30664732-115861755217624285?l=quotedintoronto.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>A.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30664732.post-1158287342454501492006-09-14T21:25:00.000-05:002006-09-14T21:29:02.463-05:0030-year-old single woman talking to table full of other ones: Sorry! I thought you were dating. That's why I said it was like a Judith Krantz novel.<br /><br />-By the Way Cafe, Bloor Street West<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/30664732-115828734245450149?l=quotedintoronto.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>A.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30664732.post-1157937858971322822006-09-10T20:20:00.000-05:002006-09-10T20:24:18.976-05:00Scruffy dude singing/screaming alone in back alley: I'm a refugee! I'm a terrorist! I'm a refugee! I'm a terrorist! The military is after me! I'm a refugee!<br /><br />-Bloor St. W.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/30664732-115793785897132282?l=quotedintoronto.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>A.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30664732.post-1157678576506908852006-09-07T20:19:00.000-05:002006-09-07T20:22:56.513-05:00Dude: And then he said, "Here's my business card. If you get lonely, just rub it all over your body."<br />Dude #2: That's a great line!<br /><br />-office<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/30664732-115767857650690885?l=quotedintoronto.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>A.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30664732.post-1157678333844568322006-09-07T20:04:00.000-05:002006-09-07T20:18:53.853-05:00Woman picks up small playdough container and smells: I wish you could eat playdough. It smells so good.<br />Woman worker: Eew!<br />Playdough woman: It does. It smells like kindergarten. (Pauses to reflect.) There's nothing as depressing as playdough with crusty bits around the edges ... Other than the situation in Darfur, of course.<br />Man worker: Of course.<br /><br />-Front St. office<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/30664732-115767833384456832?l=quotedintoronto.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>A.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30664732.post-1157410025647517842006-09-04T17:43:00.000-05:002006-09-04T17:47:05.666-05:00Boy: Are we in Barrie yet?<br />Grandpa: Nope.<br />Boy: Are we still in Toronto?<br />Grandpa: Nope.<br />Boy: Well, then, where are we?<br />Grandpa: Near Barrie.<br />Boy: I don't understand.<br />Grandpa: You will soon.<br /><br />-GO Train<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/30664732-115741002564751784?l=quotedintoronto.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>A.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30664732.post-1157062881621639442006-08-31T17:14:00.000-05:002006-08-31T17:21:21.630-05:00Tall pimply dude: My friend has this theory that the perfect woman is a three-foot-tall midget with no teeth.<br />Short girl: What? Huh?<br />Dude: I'm sure you can guess the meaning.<br /><br />-Spadina Avenue<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/30664732-115706288162163944?l=quotedintoronto.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>A.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30664732.post-1156382392088550492006-08-23T20:05:00.000-05:002006-08-23T20:19:52.130-05:00<div>Carpenter: Good day, sir.</div> <div>70-year-old man: Hi there. I grew up in this house.</div> <div>Carpenter: Really? You must have a lot of great memories of that.</div> <div>70-year-old man: Yup ... Got my first blow job in that back room there.</div> <div>Carpenter: (silence)<br /><br />-construction site<br />Submitted by J.<br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/30664732-115638239208855049?l=quotedintoronto.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>A.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30664732.post-1156084880274642242006-08-20T09:37:00.000-05:002006-08-20T17:01:39.446-05:00Gino: Wow, I love the glasses. You look like a dirty librarian, a dirty librarian who didn't return her books ... and all her books are about sex!<br />Girl wearing glasses: Uh...<br /><br />-Devil's Martini<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/30664732-115608488027464224?l=quotedintoronto.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>A.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30664732.post-1156084664777559192006-08-20T09:34:00.000-05:002006-08-20T09:37:44.776-05:00Dude: There are so few beautiful people, but as my friend said to me, "Everyone's a porn star in somebody's movie."<br /><br />-Yonge Street<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/30664732-115608466477755919?l=quotedintoronto.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>A.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30664732.post-1156084151229638882006-08-20T09:26:00.000-05:002006-08-20T09:29:11.236-05:00Dude: You can't call that a martini. That's a motini, a motardini, a motard.<br /><br />-Bloor Street West & Markham Street<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/30664732-115608415122963888?l=quotedintoronto.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>A.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30664732.post-1155074785204871282006-08-08T17:04:00.000-05:002006-08-08T17:06:25.216-05:00Guy #1: It's beaver.<br />Guy #2: Can you eat beaver?<br />Girl: I would totally try eating beaver.<br /><br />-random street<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/30664732-115507478520487128?l=quotedintoronto.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>A.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30664732.post-1154785492399752492006-08-05T08:40:00.000-05:002006-08-05T08:44:52.410-05:00Guy: So...I don't really know how to say this but I really like you, and I was wondering if you would like to start dating, or hanging out more, or something?<br />Girl: Really? Because I thought you were gay?<br />Guy: Damn, this always happens. I can assure you, I'm NOT gay.<br />Girl: Really? Because I am.<br />Guy: Really?<br />Girl: Ya, you know that blonde friend of yours? She's tall, curly hair.<br />Guy: Ya.<br />Girl: Is she a lesbian?<br />Guy: Ya.<br />Girl: Do you think you could set me up with her?<br /><br />-Dooney's in the Annex<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/30664732-115478549239975249?l=quotedintoronto.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>A.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30664732.post-1154556737189466502006-08-02T17:11:00.000-05:002006-08-02T17:12:17.190-05:00Dude on patio: You gotta get mocked to learn.<br />Chick: What?<br />Dude: Yeah, I'd still be a fat kid if I didn't get mocked.<br /><br />-near College Street<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/30664732-115455673718946650?l=quotedintoronto.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>A.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30664732.post-1154556663223930332006-08-02T17:01:00.000-05:002006-08-02T17:11:03.243-05:00Drunken dude on a phone: I'm on a streetcar. And I'm going to a boat cruise. And I'm already ruined... You know, I have a bottle of gin at home with your name on it - literally, it has your name on it. I think I was drunk and wrote your name on it.<br /><br />-Spadina streetcar<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/30664732-115455666322393033?l=quotedintoronto.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>A.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30664732.post-1153263114183653322006-07-18T17:49:00.000-05:002006-07-18T17:51:54.183-05:00Drunkard singing: Sweet Caroline, dah dah dah, I feel fired! Dah dah dah!<br /><br />-Front Street West<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/30664732-115326311418365332?l=quotedintoronto.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>A.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30664732.post-1153262977911006122006-07-18T17:43:00.000-05:002006-07-18T17:49:37.923-05:00American tourist: Excuse me, how much is this newspaper?<br />Cashier girl: Seventy-five cents.<br />Tourist: Is that American or Canadian?<br />Cashier: Canadian.<br /><br />-Newsstand in CBC building<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/30664732-115326297791100612?l=quotedintoronto.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>A.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30664732.post-1152486770324925622006-07-09T18:10:00.000-05:002006-07-09T18:12:50.333-05:00Chick: I send you to my psychic and you don't even call me?!<br /><br />-Brant House<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/30664732-115248677032492562?l=quotedintoronto.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>A.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30664732.post-1152419186562350632006-07-08T23:17:00.000-05:002006-07-08T23:26:26.563-05:00Dude: So, you're going to make <span style="font-weight:bold;">spam</span> hors d'oeuvres?<br />Chick: Yes!!<br /><br />-John Street<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/30664732-115241918656235063?l=quotedintoronto.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>A.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30664732.post-1152418651300579852006-07-08T23:13:00.000-05:002006-07-08T23:17:31.300-05:00Fabulous sales dude: I loooove damages -- you know, the clothes that have something wrong with them. I hide them on the bottom shelf there for later... I also love folding. Wow. I'm really revealing a lot to you. I feel like I'm on Larry King or the View or something.<br /><br />-Club Monaco, Queen Street West<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/30664732-115241865130057985?l=quotedintoronto.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>A.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30664732.post-1152221813486702302006-07-06T16:35:00.000-05:002006-07-06T16:37:18.580-05:00Ditzy girl #1: You're so dumb!<br />Ditzy girl #2: No, you're dumb!<br />Ditzy girl #1: No, you're dumb!<br />Smart girl to guy: I think it's safe to say we're all a little drunk.<br />Ditzy girl #1: No, not drunk! <span style="font-weight:bold;">Dumb</span>!<br /><br />-unnamed bar<br />Submitted by J.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/30664732-115222181348670230?l=quotedintoronto.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>A.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30664732.post-1152149696816737182006-07-05T20:32:00.000-05:002006-07-05T20:34:56.830-05:00Tranny: So, I was in the bathroom and he said, "I'll show you mine if you show me yours." And I said, "But mine is made by God, and yours is made by a doctor."<br /><br />-Church & Carlton<br />Submitted by S.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/30664732-115214969681673718?l=quotedintoronto.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>A.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30664732.post-1152063692444279862006-07-04T20:39:00.000-05:002006-07-04T20:41:32.443-05:00Patron: Do you have VLTs?<br />Waitress: No, sorry, the closest thing we have is a Club Sandwich.<br /><br />-pub on Bloor Street West<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/30664732-115206369244427986?l=quotedintoronto.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>A.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30664732.post-1152063458666014392006-07-04T20:35:00.000-05:002006-07-06T16:38:42.470-05:00Barbie girl: Are you made of sugar?<br />Ken: No, not sugar... I'm made of sweetener so I don't affect your fat-content.<br /><br />-Church Street<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/30664732-115206345866601439?l=quotedintoronto.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>A.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30664732.post-1152063299991418042006-07-04T20:33:00.000-05:002006-07-05T20:36:16.266-05:0020-something woman reading newspaper: Those trees <span style="font-weight:bold;">do</span> smell like semen!<br />Mother: ...<br />20-something woman: ... Not that I know what semen smells like...<br /><br />-house<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/30664732-115206329999141804?l=quotedintoronto.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>A.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30664732.post-1152063183010562552006-07-04T20:32:00.000-05:002006-07-04T20:33:03.010-05:00Man: What do I need to pay $1,000 for fitness membership when I have a scythe?<br /><br />-house<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/30664732-115206318301056255?l=quotedintoronto.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>A.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30664732.post-1152063057472921032006-07-04T20:28:00.000-05:002006-07-04T20:30:57.473-05:00Man: It's not as bad as a tanning saloon.<br />Younger man: A saloon! Ha!<br />Young woman: It's a salon, not saloon.<br />Man: Whatever, it's like a saloon what they do there!<br /><br />-house<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/30664732-115206305747292103?l=quotedintoronto.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>A.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30664732.post-1152062909736661822006-07-04T20:25:00.000-05:002006-07-04T20:28:29.736-05:00Girl #1: It's a medley.<br />Girl #2: Medley's not a bad thing.<br />Dude: It's just another word for mutt.<br /><br />-House<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/30664732-115206290973666182?l=quotedintoronto.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>A.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30664732.post-1152062737286739592006-07-04T20:23:00.000-05:002006-07-04T20:25:37.286-05:00Rude dude: You have something on your lip.<br />White-lipped chick: Yeah, I know. I have a cold sore, so I just put something on it.<br />Rude dude: Sorry, I thought it was food.<br />Rude dude #2: Ha, yeah, like mayo or something!<br /><br />-Apartment elevator<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/30664732-115206273728673959?l=quotedintoronto.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>A.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30664732.post-1152062611610969522006-07-04T20:22:00.000-05:002006-07-04T20:23:31.610-05:00Hipster dude: I'm not into an alternative lifestyle when it comes to my banking.<br /><br />-Kensington Market<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/30664732-115206261161096952?l=quotedintoronto.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>A.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30664732.post-1152062491857571572006-07-04T20:18:00.000-05:002006-07-04T20:21:31.856-05:00Teen hipster: Twelve-teen, that's not funny, but Eleven-teen, that's fucking hilarious!<br /><br />-College & Spadina<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/30664732-115206249185757157?l=quotedintoronto.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>A.noreply@blogger.com